25 january 2021
today i've been thinking about a number of emotions that lack names.
not being sure whether something actually happened or if you dreamt it (and being too shy to ask someone if it really did)—forgetting why you entered a room or why you're doing something and just staying frozen and confused trying to remember—that thing where you try to trace back all the stuff you did since you woke up trying to remember where you put something
and many others but i've forgotten.
today i was quite depressed. i still don't feel like i have my emotions and thoughts and life under control...........
i should write down my writing ideas somewhere. currently i'm working on a "glossary of pseudochronologies" poem on medium but i'm kinda hitting a low point. also i'm going to work on my philosophical conlang more. so far i've got a vague idea of what i want the key pre-morphemes to be: objective (exterior), dialectial (observative), and subjective (interior); and absolute (independant), relative (referential), and perspectival, with morphemes as permutations of those categories. from an aesthetic standpoint i'm planning on integrating tone perhaps as an evidential, which might be superfluous since the obj-dia-sub dimension already entails evidentiality. i'll see. perhaps all things could be categorised and qualified as permutations of those different dimensions: notably "a friend" would be... well i suppose those permutations would be applied to the seme as such. like, friend.obj.rel is someone who is objectively close and who is a friend to us.
it would seem like the intrinsic solipsism of a human perspective would command to have a very neat divide between what I consider and what others consider. of course that would apply to everyone. i don't know. i'm winging this feels post as well.