22 february 2025
we realized why we were feeling sick about our plurality, and why we weren't presenting as plural anymore. we're proxy-plural. condensed definition from pluralpedia: "a proxy system is a system where one functions as a singlet (or close to one, such as a median system) due to a frontstuck host, yet all members of the system are completely distinct in the headspace. The host might have varying levels of communication with headmates, and may be able to visit headspace themself. the host might only experience blurring instead of switching, regardless of inter-system communication levels."
this is literally us. we've always had a hard time forcing ourselves into boxes of "you have this identity and this name, and you have this other one". for months now I (Eight) have been the only one in front and I thought that our system just never existed in the first place and I made it up or something but now that I've found this label, it all makes sense.
for now we're going to try to view things through this lens, and not stress over it.
some theories about all this that Blair (headmate) came up with:
- only some of us can actually front, the rest either front by proxy (as in, through someone else) or just don't.
- maybe we needed a big emotional push to get this all moving again
I should probably do a proper blog post about all this, and about why our presentation of our plurality changed over the years. (spoiler alert: its because of trauma)