01 january 2025
Oh boy, it's been a year since I wrote my last feels entry!
I had a pretty good New Year's eve celebration with my girlfriend, her dad, her best friend and another good friend of hers from work. We all drank and ate and had fun, and wished each other a happy new year when the time came. The next morning, my girlfriend started to feel a little sick :( not hung over, at least not exclusively, but just sick in the viral way. She was kinda standoffish and short with me, so I thought that she was mad at me, but it turns out she was just tired and not all there. Sometimes I wish she would communicate that better to me, but I also logically know that I am expecting too much if I expect that, and even though she's not as affectionate as me, there are still big parts of our relationship where we are able to share experiences. My BPD makes it hard not to fill in the gaps when someone isn't extremely explicit that they're not giving me the cold shoulder and they're not mad at me. It's burdening, it really is. But there isn't much that I can do about it, apart from keeping on learning about myself and others, and finding ways to individually entertain, fulfill and engage myself.
I hope everyone reading this has a fantastic start to their 2025, and I love you all! Feel free to drop me a line if I have provoked your thoughts in any way. Rambling is not just welcome, it's encouraged :)
Take care!