07 january 2025
Hi again everyone! Today's entry will likewise be very short. I don't have much to update you on.
I spoke to someone that I had been subconsciously avoiding and being short with today. He hinges his entire mental wellbeing on me talking to him, which I have told him many times is unhealthy, especially since I cannot reciprocate it. The more he leans in, the further I pull away. Today I came really close to entirely cutting ties with him.
Unfortunately, my "no" muscle hasn't been exercised enough, so we're still in contact; he somehow convinced me that it would be mean for me to do that. Realistically, I know that I do not need a reason, especially if I am made uncomfortable which is reason enough, but I genuinely do not have the energy to put into a proper goodbye, and I feel like I owe him one.
One day, I suppose. Or maybe I'll grow fond of him by some miracle. But anyway, it did teach me a valuable lesson: I have been running away from some things in my life that I should probably confront as a matter of maintenance, if not anything else. I'll get around to them.
I've been doing rather excellently on doing personal projects, although I will try to set a timer on YouTube as I did when I was in school, because it is sapping my time with stupid predator investigation videos and bodycam footage. Sometimes it does give me interesting ones though (today, Deviant Ollam and the Connections Museum did a collaboration, and the video hinted that there would be a sequel!!! Go check it out if you're a big phone nerd like me :))))
Anyway that is all, thanks for reading town! And to all a good night <3