12 august 2025
Much like others have written, both recently and not-so-recently, I too came back to this tilde as a source of comfort. I think this October marks the 5th (edit: I checked - 7th!!!!) anniversary of me being on tilde.town. Holy crap, I can't believe it's been 7 years. This place has watched me turn from an angsty adolescent into a mostly functional young adult. That's insane to think about. I wasn't here throughout, but I always held it in my heart as a safe place to escape to whenever life had me down or whatever. I know I keep promising I'll come back more often, but life always finds a way to take away my ADHD-addled brain into a new hyperfixation. I don't know if that's a good thing (I get to live and not be chronically online) or a bad thing (I am left without a community I can come back to often.)
Much has changed since my last post. I thought I posted when I graduated in May, but apparently not. I graduated college, and I am now desperately searching for a job to stay in the US under OPT (Optional Practical Training.) I often ask myself, why am I fighting to stay in a country that has alienated me in so many ways, and the answer I often come to, is that I am trying to build a life somehow. This place is where I hedged my bets, and I wanna see it through to the end, at least as much as I can. So, anyway, I got a job now as a robotics instructor for a place that pays $15/hr and doesn't withhold taxes or give you a W-2. It's ass, but it'll have to do for now. Maybe I'll get a better job soon, who knows. I am glad to have some friends I can revisit and talk to. It's good to be remembered. I want to do more things with them, but as of now, they're all far away since we all moved. Maybe I can make new ones, ones that match my interests.
I broke up with my girlfriend 3 days ago. It was a long time coming, because she had long since stopped being able to provide me with the affection that I needed. There were many signs, but I was just scared. Scared of being alone. So anyway, I'm glad it was mutual and she says that she let me go so that I can pursue someone else who can better love me or show it to me. We're still friends, and I hope that doesn't change, but life always finds a way to be messy.
Speaking of finding new friends: if I make a profile on some friend-finding apps, I am now promising myself that I will keep my interests open and active. I am going to be upfront about liking amateur radio and electronics. Because otherwise I'd try to hide those in lieu of more "normal" hobbies, and I'd be stuck. Stuck meeting people who I didn't click with and they didn't click with me, and missing out on people who do have my interests, should they exist. I realized that's stupid and pointless.
I'll try to visit more often. I'll make a habit to check tilde.town instead of stupid news sites or worse, the same 2 Discord servers that don't show me any attention.
Much love, and until next time, ~tunas