11 september 2025
I keep finding myself sticking my hand in a bowl of broken glass and looking/thinking about what once was. I do this less and less as time goes on, sure, but I still subconsciously feel like it's my duty or business to care. It isn't. It never was, not since it was laid out to me that it isn't.
Why do some people only show up 15 minutes after you've said "ok, you've had enough time to reach out, bye" and then they say "what's wrong, talk to me, I tried to reach out on xyz platform but I couldn't reach you anymore." And then you tell them what's wrong, ask them what they've been up to, and they disappear again. Bizarre game to be playing.
I later answered my own question. It's probably just a game of push and pull. People usually do it when they want to keep you, but aren't really that interested at the moment. That, or they don't wanna be the bad ones in their head, so they barely reach out just to tick the completion box in their brain.
But anyway, fuck that and fuck those people without any consideration for their physical wellbeing in the process. I'm excited for driving school today because I get to practice the difficult act of parallel parking! On top of this, I have some real tasks to keep me busy with regards to work. Finally, I have work to do on the spectrum analyzer.
pinhook's talklike gave me a line of poetic gold to reuse later: "I apologize if anyone is a zero-width space in a file in your life."