26 september 2025
12 minutes after UTC midnight, so this is still 2025-09-25. I went shopping and got a bunch of food so that I can eat more often. I realized I have been accidentally starving myself, which explains why I have lost 10 pounds in a month and am losing more and more as the days go on, and yet I retain fat from everything I eat (because my poor body is trying to conserve energy.) This has done a number on my mood, I bet, which makes me less interested in eating.
Therefore, I'm gonna follow one of the principles I outlined before: You cannot think your way into acting better, but you can act your way into thinking better.
I am going to act my way into thinking better. Easy.
--- September 26th, 2025 ---
I feel so much more healed. I am going to take as much advantage of this as I possibly can. I bought tickets for an Anamanaguchi concert next week, here in Detroit. Very excited! A coworker told me about that.
Aldi creme brulee is very good! I love it. I am also really good at bunnying; I've been snacking on a 1lb bag of carrots. I'm gonna eat some more veggies and I bet I'll notice a giant change in my mental wellbeing. On top of this, I am really looking forward to lunch. I'm gonna decide what I'll make, but it'll be good. I am thinking significantly less about how I should be living, given that someone else is enjoying their life entirely independently of me. I used to feel like I somehow am not, and it was hard to convince myself that the only reason was that I was spending my valuable time worrying about others and not affording myself that same grace. It helped to zoom out and realize how many things I could make a "new life, new me" social media post about, too. And it was more things than she has. That's all I needed. However, on top of this, there's also the useful principle of: Let go of someone, or you'll just be dragged on the ground when they float. Its corollary, of course, is "if you let go of someone, you might float even higher than they are, as they are no longer sapping your lift." And also, why cut off what you can just untie?
I am eating some salami, and it is fantastic. It's not lunch yet, but my tummy was rumbly. I'm glad today is a good day.
The past often comes dressed as inviting nostalgia, giving you the impulse to return.
But you’ll find nothing upon your return. Because what once was is now dead.
Keep moving.
Work went well! I did have to work a bit of overtime because a) I forgot to clock out, and b) I forgot to send a welcome email to a user. But it was only by a few minutes, so it's ok. I'm looking forward to lying down and relaxing, and also figuring out what I'm doing this weekend. I'm planning on taking more driving lessons, letting go of past regrets by replacing them with new experiences, and checking in with old friends.