1 october 2025
I woke up to an email that my ex declined our "Recreational Crying" monthly calendar event. What a weird thing to wake up to.
I don't want to rely on arbitrary boundaries, and heaven knows that I said September would be a "new month, new me" type affair, but it is the first of October and I do want to use that as a reason to leave old stuff behind. Month boundaries are also a good little milestone to reflect on how much progress I've made in the last x days. Progress is not linear, far from it, but it is absolutely useful to say "I am not having a week where I can't eat or sleep every time I think about this person, now it's down to 2-3 days" or "I am now capable of smacking sense into myself and stopping myself from spiraling with self-love and acts of service."
On a brighter note!, he said, about to drop more bad vibes: Work started very wonky today, I fucked up in handling a ticket in a way that would have meant the customer doesn't get billed for that access, but it was an honest mistake and my boss understood it. So all's well. I hope it doesn't happen again. Driving school went well; I focused on practicing parking in all the ways I'd need for my license exam. I'm getting close to getting my license, and it reminds me of the freedom I'd have to go down the highways, blasting music, no cares except for traffic safety, and going to some nice national parks before the weather becomes unpassable for such things. It's good motivation :)
I'd like to say, I like the person I see in the mirror. I'm glad I have gotten close to him. I'm glad I can understand him. Sometimes he is unreasonable, but I have to remember that I, too, am unreasonable, and I can give him the advice that I'd give myself. Bizarre!
It is 7:30pm and I had a nice meal and a nice walk. I held The Cat. I am doing phenomenally, and it seems to be coming from within which I am allllll for. Tonight I'll golf with my friends. In the meantime, I'll work on Angelic.