6 october 2025
Hello, I was poopy last night, but for the stupidest of reasons. I'm now able to think more clearly.
I have once again revealed to myself that I am unable to find proper, consistent happiness in what I do, no matter how good it is. The feeling fades. I will discuss serotonin reuptake inhibitors with a psychiatrist, and perhaps that will help me have more functional relationships, first and foremost with myself and then with others. I hope to goodness that I don't forget this revelation like my other ones; I guess journaling really helps with that.
Work is going well; my coworkers are really funny. My cousin came back from a weekend trip. I didn't finish what I was typing above, because work got busy :( I forgot what I was gonna say. Also, there is a frustrating work ticket about a phone that will not cooperate. I am also starting to doubt myself and what the next steps in my life are; no option of how to resolve things seems to be logical. I do wish I could just drop this once and for all.
I began reading "The Let Them Theory" by Mel Robbins. Chapter 2 is literally the situation that I was in. I can sense that the power of "let them" is something I really need to invest in, if I stand any chance of getting out of this stupid rut, for good.
I will add a line item to my daily agenda to not only write a feels post every day (which, by the way, I have done sustainably for a month straight - woo!), but also to READ my past posts. At least one past post a day. Even if I get sick of it. I want to see my progress, I want to cherish my progress, I want to ACTUALLY MAINTAIN my progress.
I have 15 minutes before UTC midnight, so I am going to do one last update about my evening. I'm currently working on Angelic, after my boss asked me why people were complaining that I wasn't doing any work. I kept everyone relevant updated and posted about my time constraints, and what I'm working on. I was stuck working on a task for a week, on account of the fact that I can only work 1-2 hours a day now that I have a 9 to 5. I will most likely put my work on Angelic on pause soon, or just work on minor things that I can take off others' plates. I'll negotiate that with my boss. I had some really nice chickpea and green bean korma, which really helped boost my mood. I will buy some more whenever I can. Unfortunately I didn't get to go on a walk as it got dark while I was resting from one job and getting to work on another. That's ok; maybe I'll do a night walk before bed.