02 january 2025
happy 452 !
I really hope anyone reading this has had a wonderful year and will have as many other wonderful ones !
It's funny how we do a party just because our planet made a full revolution around the sun...
I'm french, and we have a pretty fucked up political situation here. Our president (Emmanuel Macron) did a talk for the new year. My friends made a bingo where they would try to predict each thing he would say, and get a shot of alcohol if they were right. They ended up matching almost all their predictions, even the most maddening ones... Our gouvernment really doesn't care about people...
BUT
I had a super nice party for the new year ! The best I can remember in fact ! It started at 7:30pm and ended at 9am, so it lasted more than 13h, and it was mad. We made each other presents for christmas because we had not seen each other since. I got a very nice book, "la pensée perverse au pouvoir" about politics and rhetorics. Some of my friends made presentations to do the retrospective of 2024, one of them was formatted like each friend of the group was a SCP anomaly.
Near the fireplace, we listened to some records with the newly repaired vinyl turntable. Having a physical support for data has something magic when you're born in the digital era.
One of the girls of the group got unsollicited half-naked pictures of a guy she had only wished happy new year to. We answered with a similar half-naked picture of... a guy in our group, and that was lots of fun. The same girl got a message from a guy that is basically harassing her, since she explictly told her she didn't like him. This one has the "racist" add-on, so he is particularily disgusting. For him, we made a message where we would take turns to say one word. This ended up in a very incoherent but funny message telling him that he is racist... I really hate how men think of women, and as a man myself, I hate how society makes me think about women. Hopefully we have a lot of feminist information nowadays, but I really wish I had been taught all these things at school instead of useless math (and don't get me wrong : I'm literally a student in math).
My feelings about this new year are mostly that I don't want to fail my studies. Math this year are quite hard, especially topology and integration. I really have to revise but I keep doing anything but my math. ADHD is so annoying for that reason... I've been having a lot of insomnia this year, that led me to miss a lot of lessos. I hope to regulate that next semester so I don't have to work so hard just the last few weeks.
I also have this ongoing love situation where I love a girl, and I keep trying to making it explicit (you know, with presents, telling her "I really like you" or "I'm very happy to know you"...) and she just doesn't react. I was expecting her to either stop talking to me (since we are not that close) or to make the situation clear, but really I could get no clue from her, and since time passes and we don't see each other much, I'm getting more and more resigned to accept a simple friendship instead.
This is one of the big techings of this year : friendship is very important. I used to overlook friendhsip, but this year, I changed the city were I study and I now come back only on weekends. This means I don't see my friends nearly as often as I used to. And I have really felt the gap. I'm starting to make new friends now, where I study, but a strong friendship takes time to build. I also listened to very interesting intervews about friendship, in a philosophical point of view. I discovered things like co-parenting : when two friends raise a child. The lesson I got from these is the same : friendship is overlooked as something less important, but is actually one of the most important type of relations (also, going out with your friends is known to be a huge factor for happiness).
Lastly, I have read ~tunas's blog, and it encouraged me to write more personnal messages blog posts to talk about my feelings, my state of mind... I know this can only make me feel better, so my only new year resolution will be to write some blog posts about how I feel. Thanks ~tunas !