29 november 2017
"this will work" - Her
I hope there aren't any doubts that
I'll make an effort to make this work
and
It is so profoundly reassuring
to hear this from you
"this is going to be worth it"
"this will work"
"you make me happy"
I want this to work too
You're pretty much all I look forward to.
Sure, if I focus on the weeks and months ahead, there are some
things that make me excited.
There's Christmas.
decorating the office (i volunteered to helppp)
Hanging out with gave and kian and tommy and kt and the other
friends that don't need an invitation
because they're always included.
but those are not always present in my mind.
Truth is, up there, it's mostly you.
When I miss you, I miss you lots
And when things get between us, I think how much you miss me
But I'll keep trying. I'm with you and by your side. Always
:)
I feel loved
I feel wanted
Anyway,
This is what happened las morning: I went to sleep without expecting anything in the morning. Whatever happens, happens. (I'll watch a movie with you anyway) You were (presumably) very tired from the night before (nap? at 5am??) and I would have liked you to sleep as much as possible. I set a catchall 8:20am alarm and closed my eyes. Some dreams after, I land in some place of nebulous conflict. A rather blurry dream that felt like Burgundy and fire; tumultuous and vibrant. There wasn't much substance to it, but the ending was something I probably won't forget. I was close to waking up when I visualize this angelic image. This person surrounded by light. Coming towards me, cutting through all the tension. Without moving my head, I open my eyes. And there I am, looking straight at you as you made your way through my bedroom door. The dream curtains fall, revealing your beautiful image standing right behind it. "excellent timing ;)" I thought.
what a sight you are
what a feeling you bring me
but how do you feel, my love?