24 may 2022

I think if I knew for certain that I have no responsibility towards my mother, because I didn't choose her to bring me up, I'd lead a very different life. Sometimes I feel like she manipulates me into staying in a life I can never become happy with, by reminding me how devastated she was when I tried to move out once. And it feels like those times are the once time where I'm honest to myself. I live for my company and my mother. And I won't change that because the latter one will probably kill herself after a couple of weeks if she didn't know where I was.

Health points yesterday: ? (I'm not even recording these any more. But it is a sensible assumption that those points are in the negative on days on which I didn't bother to record them.)

Alcohol so far: none, but it's getting summer.

Nicotine: not that heavy vaping, 0.1 - 0.2 mg/ml