14 august 2022

I don't like that I have become one of those persons who sees that, and how, there is a connection between (romatic) love and sex (sexual desire). I used to not understand why people always mix those two things up, sometimes equating the two. A lot of people, if not all, seemed to assume that being in love with somebody also meant having some sort of sexual interest in them. (In the case of males usually wanting to have intercourse with the one they said they are in love with.) It always seemed to me that these people didn't really know how you can really love somebody whithout wanting (often even expecting) some gratification from them. When I fell in love in my 20s, there was no bridge between those feelings and my sexual feeling (desires, urges, needs). I wasn't asexual. The two things just weren't automatically connected. This has changes since then. I feel that this realisation was the destruction of a large chunk of my innocence in a way. A sort of innocence humankind would do good to preserve and encourage in itself.

Overall health status estimation: +

Alcohol so far: none

Nicotine: vaping, 0.1 mg/ml