06 january 2019
the beginning of the end...
in 2019 i've decided to write more in physical notebooks instead of a text editor on my computer so i'll probably be writing less in here. although that's probably due to a number of reasons besides just the notebooks.
my brother leaves to go back to college today. in a week or so, i will too. my sister's high school classes start tomorrow. many reminders that i'll be joining them in due time. i've been reading this book "bullshit jobs" by david graeber and i think it's really good but also kinda personally depressing for me. not something i should read a lot of at once.
21 december 2018
i went ahead and purged my feels account...
idk i think i was anticipating my feels account going differently than how it ended up. but i'm back now.
i was up late hating things last night. my brother, sister, mom and i were sort of having an argument about current events stuff and my mom loves to hate on how things are going but refuses to accept that drastic direct action has to take place to change anything. always saying something like its not the answer or whatever. i just wish i knew what to do cause then i could at least point myself in a direction and if i fail i fail, but at least it would be better than being completely directionless.
i'm disassociative again. i have been all this week. i want to explain further but i don't have the energy right now. maybe later.