~zach's tilde of feelings

@TTBP

11 april 2017

Booked a date for the next Sleepwalker, and the show is feeling so much more meaningful. I am letting myself be as excited for this as I want to be, which is a lot. And hopefully all the excitement I am feeling from the cohosts and performers and venue owners will translate to actual audiences too right now it is just a beautiful, unknown but beloved thing.

A friend of mine will be touring Montreal in May, and I realized that I could book a business trip to HQ (in montreal) on the same days for valid reasons. so today I got approval to be in montreal on the same days my friend is touring. It feels so interneational and magic. I can't make his show here in the city at the end of the month, but i will cross borders to see him play next month.

It was my birthday on Monday and the weekend was soooo fantastic. I am v. thankful for Juniper, and the incredible days she gives me. I think i've decided on Juniper as my partner's nickname here in tilde. I don't know why I like to keep some things secret, but her real name will be secret and Juniper sounds nice.

I was up way too late doing a seance for an author I love but find to be too sad and now I am properly skeeeeezed out. I don't know why I need to be such a delicate dandy who can't read a sad book without holding a seance to tell the author I appreciate him, but that is who I am. and now I am reading through tilde's mastodon node, super sleepy, but unable to quit because the idea of sleeping in the dark right now scares me. I am dumb.

At the same time, I am a fan of all the activities in all the above paragraphs. I enjoy my life, though I don't really understand it.

02 april 2017

It is sunday afternoon and all the windowas are open letting the spring air in. We spent the morning cleaning so the floors are mopped and the home is continually feeling more settled and ready. We are about to go to an herbalism class where we'll learn how to make healthy vinegars, but right now Juniper is in the kitchen making us sandwiches and just blasting Jason Mraz. Acoustic Jazon Mraz. And I gotta say, on spring afternoons with the morning as it was Jason Mraz sounds so so so so good. I am a mrazberry, and I have no shame aboutit.

* 14:24

30 march 2017

Yesterday was soooooo goood. We held Sleepwalker at Babycastles, and the vibe was so strange and warm and perfect. The show was not a sell out in any sort of way. As a comedy show, it was maybe not a success at all. but as a Salon, or a memory, it was a knock out. I had that realization about ahalf hour before the show. I knew that the crowd attendance would be low, and would likely be each performer plus the one friend they brought. And I don't really know how to promote. Social media promotion doesn't work for me and just makes me sad. Or it is maybe that all my friends in the city are also comedians, and have show fatigue.

But I also knew that the show was going to be gooooooood...for the 7 people that made up our audience. We put our hearts into it. I made up several web pages for the night. I made about 3 times the amount of pages as audience--just so each comedian would have an animated backdrop and we could move smoothly from slides to music to sketch. Angelica made a dancing animal gif for every comedian. I learned a javascript tool to create minimal slides from the command line and then run them off a local server, just to ensure that our presenters could move through the slides without worrying about their wifi. And then I wrote a futuristic sci-fi prose piece that crystallized everything I loved about solarpunk and made a slides for that too. And then the show started and everything went off without a hitch. Every performer was incredible and diverse. We were able to move quickly without any technical hiccups (a thing I HAAAATE in ny comedy shows). Everyone seemed to feel included and lucky and everyone lingered after just because they were warm and happy after the show.

I have a maybe unhealthy love for the underappreciated, for the small thing that is pretty because it exists but does not need anyone to know.. I mean, that's why I'm writing here, because I know that it's not easily found. And yesterday I watched the band Photo Jenny play at our beautifully set up stage, with their beautiful animated backing track playing behind them and all the unecessary hard work, the potentially fruitless efforts, felt worth it. We were friends in a room making something we love as well as we can, because what else would we do?

26 march 2017

23 march 2017

Today is a pretty big step for me, on my path to helping start a local mesh network.

I crimped an ethernet cable.

Or, to be honest, I first learned how to crimp an ethernet cable, and then didn't do it right, and then tried again and I did it.

Tonight I met up with the nyc mesh Install Team for our first community breakout. And I feel good in that I am not the only one who is excited about the idea of a community network, but can't actually say what it means(technically). Many of the people on this 15th floor coworking space were as lost as me. Which turned out to be silly, as a mesh network in essence is very simple. It works by sharing internet. That's it.

We talked of the two main ways the mesh operates: either by multiple buildings all connecting and spreading the signal from a SUPERNODE, or just from houses pointing and sharing their internet. This is where I realized that we could start a mesh network in Ridgewood. Id basically set up a router in our house and point it at a friend, and ask if they wanna split internet. And that friend could connect it to a friend they are in eyesight of (which is surprisingly easy as everyone is moving into this neighborhood. And slowly we'd grow a resilient neighborhood network that is cheaper and stronger and more open than the two options currently available to us.

That is a thing that I am loving hte most about mesh networks, and really all my forays into this bright techno future....the tech is continually cycling back around to basic, almost rustic concepts. Even you, dear tilde, are weirdly futuristic in that I have a hard time describing you to my friends. But in the end you act as a way to talk to friendly people and make friends based on mutually shared interests. Tilde feels modern because it so easily recreates the past. (i mean, that's one nice thing about it but not the only thing. tilde .town is just great). And with mesh networks there's a lot happening within the mesh itself and how all the routers work, but the truly practial installing of it requires you talking to your neighbors and asking if you can figure out a way to split a bill. And no matter how coolly fancy the bright white mesh routers are...they still need ethernet cables to be able to function and these cables are still easiest to handle when they don't have heads on yet. So we use tools that have barely changed since the 19th century to open up wire casings and crimp heads upon the cables.

So that's what I learned how to do today. I learned the practical steps to being able to install a mesh router, and I did this with razor blades and a color guide and a cool crimping wrench.

I feel good.

Other news: Teen Daze made a beaaaaaautiful album that I can't stop listening to. https://teendaze.bandcamp.com/album/themes-for-dying-earth <== that's it there.

Also: work is dumb.

Also: I have my big ol show next wednesday and I am nervous. I am basically writing a solarpunk poem instead of coming up with a comedy set. And I worry that this will be the thing that tests my friends' patience toooo much...or everyone will love it and will prove to me that I need to def. write mooooore solar punk stories. But when I tried to write up a comedy set I insted wanted to talk about sky ships and making robots out of terra cotta and I gotta go with my gut on this.

Last news: y'all are great and this guy (zach) is sleepy! Goodnight!t

22 march 2017

I am currently attempting to learn python, partly as just a creative exercise and wanting to know how computers work a bit better and partly out of a desire to be able to give myself more career options. I should focus less on the latter, because it makes the learning of coding feel a bit hopeless.

I am thankful for tilde.town because all of y'all seem to love computers and technology but in a way that is not alienating. It seems as I pursue this path more and more, the alienation and toxicity comes up more often as well. There seems to be two extremes in the coding help I can find online: it is either "this is rudimentary stuff and it is embarassing that you are even asking it. I am going to just paste what you need to do and use some obscure phrase to show you that I am still holding back knowledge" or "Did you know that an infant can learn how to code?! you are an infant! let's code! Look at this: + that is called "plus sign" write below what you think it does....that's right! It adds things together!!"

I am currently working my way through "Coding the Hard Way". I know that the author is meaning well, and wants to make sure people don't forget the fundamentals. And I can tell that he is trying to come off as a gruff sage that is secretly quite senstive...but he's just not a good enough writer for that. Instead he just comes off as a pedantic, confusing asshole. There's "additional fact!" sections at the bottom of each chapter that is basically him making fun of a person for asking questions....like the tone is just strange. And some of the stuff he recommends (reading the code backwards, saying each character out loud as you write it) can be useful, the graveness at which he writes that you need to do it just seems like such overkill.

I might just be sad that I am again learning about what a variable is, and the difference between strings and integers and did you know that you can add them together? I am getting v. tired of typing print "hello world!" again and again as I try to find the lesson plan that speaks to me. It feels like I am in an RPG that constantly resets itself to the first dungeon, but with a different narrator telling me exactly how I should kill a rat.

A computer friend of mine said that I should start with a project. And I have a project in mind that would get me v. excited, but I dont' want to just cut and paste code that I find online, even if it gets me to my goal. I want to understand exactly why each thing is there, and I want to understand the history of the terms we are using and such.

I am trusting my gut. I am in a new area that is uncomfortable for me(programming) and I am finding myself so embarassed as if I don't belong in this world, and it makes me self conscious. At the same time, I keep finding myself digging deeper and deeper. This evening I listened to a podcast about the command line called "Taming the terminal" The first chapter just explains what shells are, and has you not even open up the terminal yet(which is fine, as I was just listening, with no intent on sitting in front of a computer, I just wanted to hear someone explain how flagged arguments work). I don't know what compelled me to download and listen to this podcast, but I looooved it and should just not question why I love it. And later I was reading an article about the alchemical histories of visualizing data, and how you can trace neuromancer back to a man named Roman Llul, who in the 12th century tried to depict every fact about the world as a type of tree. He thought God could be symbolized as a tree, and so could every animal, or all sins, or the natural laws of the world. And through his strange book of info trees we can see the birth of information science. And I just loooooooooove that idea. I want a book that describes the forest of python, and the branches I need to rest upon as I shimmy up the trunk. And I want to be good enough at programming that I can actually build out these forests I see in my own head, and help other people understand a different way of looking at code. But until I find that perfect book, I will do free online courses where an angry sys_admin explains to me , again and again, that you can use python as a calculator.

13 march 2017

To start, I am trying a new thing in my writing where I begin every paragraph with "More importantly..." This way the reader knows that I think the next paragrah is even better than the last and I create a subtle,persistent, intensity. The last paragraph will be the most important paragraph, and there's no plateau or rest for the reader. Also, I finished up a book today where the author kept using "more importantly" in front of sentences, to make all his sentences seem super important, and I thought, "well, this is easy."

More imporantly, I want to tell y'all about how to use the lost and found at La Guardia. Short answer: you don't! If you ever lose any personal item at La Guardia, just forget it! Detach yourself from any positive feeling you once had for the item, and train your mind to actually forget you ever owned it. I, unfortunately, did not know this method and attempted this morning to pick up a beloved vest I'd left at the security line. This led to four hours in laguardia terminals and me texting my partner "I think I am in a nightmare," with full sincerity.

More importantly, I was hella prepared for picking up this item. Basically, I left my vest in the security line cos they made me run it through a separate conveyer than the rest of my clothes, and I just walked off like a fool after. As soon as I got on the plain, and realized my mistake, I texted my partner (hereafter known as A) if she could call the LGA TSA and let them know what's up. The TSA gave her a reference number and said I should pick it up in the Central Terminal.

More imporantly, I tried that once I got back to town. I took a Juno to the "Central Terminal" which turns out to be a colloquial term, as it's actually Terminal B. (which I actually love. I hope Terminal A is also known as the distant terminal and Terminal D as the cool terminal. All terminals should have multiple names for fun and ease!). So I find an aiport official and ask them if they know where the TSA lost and found is. "Which airline?" they ask. "I left my vest in the security line," I said, "So no airline lost and found would have it." "There's airline lost and founds." the man said, helfpully. "I understand this, but I am looking for the TSA one." "Oh, you want to go downstairs and ask a person in a yellow vest and they can tell you."

More importantly, I did go downstairs and found a yellow vester and asked them about a TSA lost and found. He looked at me super confused, asked me which airline cos airlines have lost and founds, and then said I should try upstairs. At this point I realized that the dude I talked to before had also been wearing a yellow vest, and so he wasn't really giving me advice so much as telling me to leave his floor and bother someone else. Which makes sense, I guess, but felt a little harsh and like I'd be stuck in this loop forever.. The downstairs vester said I could also try the help desk by the cabs, as they know more.

More imporantly, I then went to a help desk. Had basically the exact same conversation again (though I was getting used to it, and so was able to state my case pretty quickly and let them know, immediately, that I was part of no airline). The lady thought for a bit and then said, "Okay, but which airline did you fly out of?" "Delta" I said. "So you want to go to Terminal D." she said, "They have a lost and found there. "Oh. But I am looking for the TSA lost and found. They said to go to the Central Terminal." "No, you want Terminal D. What you'll do is leave here and cross the street and wait for the purple route. The purple route is a bus, that is actually blue, that'll takes folks every minutes to terminal D." I looked at her confused, so she repeated, "Just look for a blue bus and ask if it's purple and they'l take you to Terminal D."

More importantly, At this point I walked away and texted A that I feel like I'm in a nightmare. I called the LGA TSA and it went straight to voicemail. A is smart, though, and had also been calling them--but repeatedly until someone picked up, who(she told me later) was both angry and surprised that someone got through. A texted me the instructions as he gave them to her, which were:

Go back to the second floor and head towards Southwest Airlines
You will see a shop called "Discover New York". Look for the TSA agent outside of the shop.
Tell them your story, and give them this phone number. They will call the lost and found.
There is no actual lost and found to visit. We visit you. So someone will come with your vest if you follow the above steps. "Are you sure you heard him correctly?" I asked A, and she assured me she did, and so I trusted.

More importantly, at the top of the stairs was a Disover NY store, and there was a TSA agent just leafing through clothes on the rack! Like...she wasn't manning any sort of line or helping people through. She was just pretending to be shopping right outside of the store. I walked up and said excuse me, and she turned her face to look at me, then turned her entire body away and kept shuffling through the clothes. "Excuse me, I am looking for the lost and found. I called them, but they said I needed to talk to someone here?" At this , she turned around all super friendly, and says she doesn't know if they have a lost and found. "I have a nu.." i started to say "I'll check my phone, " she said, then immediately, "ah, there it is" and dialed a number. She talked to someone for a second, and then handed the phone to me to talk to the lady myself. I rattled off the reference number, and she said she would be down in 5.

More importantly, 10 minutes later a man walked by the Discover store holding my vest. I flag him down, and then show him two proofs of ID, and then makes me call A cos she was who had talked to before...and she then has to prove I am real, and then he hands me my vest.

More importantly, the vest is safe and sound and I am home and the next time I fly I am going to glue every article of clothing onto my body and elect for the patdown.

Epilogue: I don't think this more importantly thing works. The most important paragraphs were really just the first and last one. I apologize for misleading y'all.

11 march 2017

Played boardgames tonight and it was fantastic! IT feels good to help people get into boardgames. I need all my friends as into them as I am, so we can start playing the longer, more indepth games! But tonight we played patchwork, netrunner, foppen, and love letter and i am pleased as punch.

on Tilde I added a new lil essay! /ted-nelson.html . This is my appreciation of ted nelson that i wrote for another site a little while back, but that site is basically defunct. So I wanted to store it here.

I find that I am getting more and more into having all things I do just on the tilde page.

Speaking of which, i might start tracking my sonic pi progress on tilde too. Right now it's all on github, but I want to try to find other sonic pi enthusiasts so we can learn from each other. that is all! have a good night!

09 march 2017

Today I meant to fill out some writer-in-residence applications, but instead spent the evening working on Sonic Pi code. I need to stop worrying about how I define myself, and just enjoy what I'm doing at the moment. And write now I am enjoying learning how to write clean code and then have that code sing back at me.

Do any of y'all work with sonic pi? I absolutely love it. This language is what got me into coding in any way at all, and so I am approaching all of this computer stuff from a strange British musical perspective. I found out today that Sonic Pi is basically ruby (or very close to ruby) and so I was able to show a song I was writing to a dev friend and he was able to give me advice on how to make it work better, even though he couldn't understand any of the actual language he was reading. It felt like If i was reading a book in french without punctuation, and I somehow knew where to put in the commas. I loved it.

I shared Sleepwalker with social media today (or at least as much as I have). It got me so excited for the show again. I get stressed with actually making it real that I forget to enjoy how cool of a thing it is that we are doing. There's so much work I put into stuff that I forget to tell people (like building webpages for every performer and writing them songs in code). It really doesn't help our reach, or help us build an audience, but it's important to me that I do it.

When I was coming home a witch friend of mine asked if I could give her a haircut and she'd happily pay. I asked if she would give a presentation about healing plants at sleepwalker as a form of payment. She instantly agreed. Then I came home and messaged my cohost that I had just traded a haircut to a witch in exchange for stage time and wanted to make sure we had room. Cohost was sooo down with this. And then I ate some homemade kraut and wrote a theme song in computer code....I don't know what strange form of life I've made for myself. But I love it.

08 march 2017

I kicked ass at the website building today, if ass is "small steps" and "reasonable accomplishments for someone who's just learning".

On tilde, I added a bookshelf at ~zach/bookshelf.html . It took me forever just to figure out how to display them properly, but i really like how it turned out.

I also made a new sleepwalker landing page at sleepwalker.city/march . I think this show is going to be a fun one, and I get more excited the closer we get.

Other than that, the big news is that I am sleepy as hell and can't look at a screen anymore. As a followup: goodnight! (let's share bookshelves!)

06 march 2017

I tried to set my partner up with tilde.town today, but got overexcited about everything I learned over the last couple of months and wasn't the beeeest teacher. I wanted her to use tilde, but first to get to know git, and also to learn a little bit of vim to be able write git commit messages within tilde, And also that she should get to know the man command for all questioins...and at this time I realized i was just typing on her computer, talking to myself, while she looked at me supportively.

But it is really exciting to get even a tad bit good at this command line and text editor stuff. There's so much beautiful history and weirdness in all the odd commands...though I think I might've been spending too long thinking about this. AT a bar on saturday, the conversations somehow led to talking about how there's something inherently magic in the way we designed file structures and command lines, in the fact that you invoke a command, or that directories are based on branches, leaves(nodes), and trees. That the innerworkings of a computer make sense when you view it all as a big metaphor, struggling to be articulated...and then i realized I've prolly been spending too much time on here. I need distance at least as a way to articulate this grand bright feeling I have when using vim, or loggin into tilde Talks for another day!

Related to computer magic, I started up regular sonic-pi practice again--keeping a note log this time to remember all the interesting things I find mid-jam. I love the singular purpose of sonic pi, and how rich of a language it is since it is meant to cover all aspects of song and sound. but jeeeeeeeeesus is it hard to actually realize the songs through code. But I am getting there.

I wrote this sleepy! Not the smartest, cos it is raaaambly. Thank you for reading!

02 march 2017

Lately, I've been finding myself wanting to shout "IMBECILE!" several times throughout the day at work. And not as a fun, new general expression. No, I want to shout at specific people that they are imbeciles, shouting it like a villain to his henchman. Thisisn't good right? Like, it doesn't matter whether people are actual screwups, or whether this feeling that I am continually teaching coworkers what should be basic lifeskills is actually accurate...it still means I'm angry and unpleasant all the time.
No one likes to hang around the angry dude, who feels he is smarter than anyone else, no matter how justified this is. So I'm going to work on that.

But yeah, work could be better. One nice part is that I am losing my mind juuuust slightly, which spurs weird creativity. I am having to make videos for a prodcut that isn't released yet, and so they have to be behind a password. I keep making the password 'i am awesome' so that the person about to view the video must first type in a self-affirmation. That just feels good for everyone! And I am making sure our help doc examples have consistent names for the users, with consistent personal details added. This is all for a subtle, long-term plan of hiding a novel into the various help docs across my company.

I remember reading as a teenagerr about an outsider artist who worked as a janitor at some office job, and would draw these highly detailed fantasy worlds on the backs of invoices and corporate memos he'd clean up. And I wondered how someone became like that, how that weirdo painter kept on as a janitor stashing his passion into the closets of his work. I think I understand it now though.

My non-work life goes well enough, though I am not as focused as I'd like. I give so much energy to work stress, and tamping down the constant urge to shout, that my evenings are spent "decompressing" or "relaxing". But relaxation is just the shadow of work, which means the lgith and dark of my day is just work. I don't want that--and am striving so hard to find the right balance.

We have a date now for the next Sleepwalker, which I'm really excited for. L and I now just have to find the right performers, and then I 'll write the music for the show and build up the sites and such. The last show went so well, and combined music and science and comedy in the exact configuration my heart makes. Getting a show up and running is such a stress, but a worthwhile one.

I am also starting up a strategy game night with some cool neighborhood friends, so that's going to be a fun monthly tradition I hope. And I am getting more involved with a beginner's "hacker" club--like we are teaching ourselves linux and infosec stuff and all that, to compete in challenges that are put on monthly. I am so out of my element with this, but all this computer language stuff feels like literal magic to me. I of course want to keep learning about command line prompts, and writing ruby scripts, when it feels like spells I am discovering. But wizards dont' start out as wizards, they start out as bored , saddies shakily saying "smokeus appearus" and watching the wisp of smoke appear. My current computer, and writing, efforts are wisps of smoke. but magic wisps.

Tomorrow I will start the day by writing something competely out of the bounds of work. And I will go outside and breathe the air for as longa as it takes for my brain to wake up, so that my first thoughts are personal thoughts, and my first breath are healthy personal breaths, and with that mindset I will head into work. Then work is just the shadow of my totally incredible, bright day.

28 february 2017

I couldn't sleep tonight and so I thought I'd go for a run to wear myself out. But that is not how my body responds to running. Instead it gets all awake and excited because I paid attention to it and was nice to it. (I just realized I referred to my body as if it were an eager dog, and not me. I'ma not think about that.)

And then, all excited from the run, I decided to read the built-in vim tutor, cos that is how I respond to excess energy. I just learned this weekend all about the manuals you can find in terminal. And they delight me all sentimental style. whatever command in the command-line you are confused by, you can simply type man + command, and there is likely a manual for it.

I get that it probably isn't "cool" to get sentimental and excited about help pages, but they are sweet. So many of the man pages have a small author attribution at the end. All of these are built into the computer. So there's all these university professors and computer science folks writing all these detailed manuals for every part of the terminal, and they call no attention to themselves. My mac does not urge me to check them out. It is only when I ask for help that the pages will show up, and the authors will take credit. For example, you can type vimtutor into your terminal, and run through an interactive tutorial made by some person named Bram which is super useful, and super user-friendly, and not advertised in anyway at all.

I am rambling hard, I think I'm actually sleepy.

To whoever is reading this, here is a song for you: Fridge Poetry-Still Pills I love this song soo much. The melody is so slow and simple, but every instrument below the singers' voice is moving constantly. There's layers of different synthlines, and a busy drum, and guitars playing counterpoint instead of chords. It gives off the impression of squirming nervously, which fits the song so weeeelll. Also, it has a type of fuzz that I want to sleep in, a distortion so good that I feel the fuzz itself 'gets me'. that is all, I love it.

22 february 2017

16 february 2017

I had my bag taken aside and searched at the airport today, and it was because of how intensely stuffed it was with Netrunner cards. She removed both binders, and asked what game it was and that it must be fun. Then I told her my bag has a somewhat secret pocket that container 2 more cubes filled with cards and that might be causing the problem. She looked through them, then handed the bag back to me and said, "Hey! Good look at your tournament! I hope your decks win." I thanked her and said that I hope so too.

But I was not going to a tournament. I was headed out of town on a business trip. I just really don't know how to pack.

Met up with my coworker at the Radisson, and we checked in at the same time, from two different desk clerks. My guy looked at my ID and said with a smile, "Seems to be you, but your hair's longer. I'll let it fly." then handed me my solitary room key.

I hear the desk clerk ask my coworker for his ID, then asked if he wanted one key or two.

Why was I not asked? Why do I look like I would be lodging alone? I mean...he's right, but I feel I should be offended by that judgement call.

Now I am pantsless in a hotel room eating apple sauce with no spoon, tilting the plastic cup into my mouth like a child king. If only that clerk could see me now. Bet he'd treat me differently.

13 february 2017

I am now in Montreal, with piles upon piles of snow, working from an old castle and watching construction guys with spiked boots install siding right outside the window. We are several stories up, and I am worried about their safety, but also grateful for them, and the odd pleasant suprrises of seeing bundled up dudes suddenly pass by the window.

16 january 2017

Back to work and oh so tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired tired tired tired.

My big worry is that I will turn into a sad adult, who constantly talks about a lack of energy, who comes home and can only manage watching a netflix show because the day just took it out of them. I've avoided this for a long time, but my job these days is taking it out of me.

My other big problem, right now, is that all the stuff I want to do at night requires computers as well. It's creative and interesting and fun, but the screen just kiiiills me come hour 10. I must figure out how to edit my tilde page on a piece of paper, one with gentle not-too-bright colors, and somehow have this scrap piece of paper tunnel in through a terminal i construct out of wood. then I can be as nerdy as I want and save my poor eyes.

I am slooowly maybe getting friends to join tilde.town. I think that'll be interesting and fun. Right now my site is a beautifully lonely place, and this blog is perhaps read by no one. I want this to be social, but don't want to ruin the charming crystal palace this place is now.

i'm gonna go sit on a train with my eyes closed and try to get the energy back. And then I will walk unti l the blood is pumping and open my jacket so the wind chills me to wakefulness. I will balance my life between the night and day and make both equally full.

13 january 2017

Had a buuuuuuusy work week but feel mad accomplished now. I feel like when I work my dayjob better, I feel more ready to do awesome night work too. I wish they were both the same, but I don't know how to do that yet.

Went to a NYC Mesh meeting this week. I am slowly becoming part of some local tech-back-to-basics community and this is exciting, but I also feel like that group is so hard to hang out with. The cooler the person is, the more socially awkward they likely are. And social awkwardness that hides behind tech jargon is the hardest type o f awkwardness to push through.

But tonight i am going to the bar The Magician to talk about the next Sleepwalker (feb 2nd baby!!) which will be an actual spell cast upon an audience. I am so excited, and want it to go well.

you guys are cool.

03 january 2017

I got some shoes for christmas that were supposedly doc martens, but I wore them for the first time today and by 11 the rubber sole on the right shoe had completely come off. By 2pm the rubber sole on the left had fallen off as well. I work in computers, most of my day was sitting at my desk, so they fell off with barely any work on my part. Now I have basically high-fashion socks, except now even the inner sole is falling off my shoes.

In symbolically related news, I am getting sick and yesterday slept for 12 hours because my entire body feels like a knock off pair of doc marten shoes.

02 january 2017

An incredibly good day. Woke with no hangover and SVU already playing on our hotel TV. Saw David and Halcyon off on their return trip to Portland, and we had one last breakfast at the reef together. Still figuring out the feels engine, by which I mean VIM. It sounded the coolest of the editors, so i PICKED it, but am realizing I have no clue how it actually functions. Went to dinner with my family and Angelica tonight, and every part of it was wonderful. Vegan tamales for us as the rest ate pork loin. Incredible brussel sprouts. Incredible mashed potatoes and everyone liked their presents. I made up another website too. I feel like I am making them faster. I am using webflow's help, but now it's mostly for the CMS aspect of it. I need to figure out how to actually create a CMS so I don't have to be paying a service anymore. And now I am laying in bed about to do a reading and finish out the day in my bullet journal. I am keeping good healthy streaks going, and I'm excited to continue. Night lil' tilde blog!

29 december 2016

Wrote up a nice long piece on one of my new random webpages: collecting.apileof.rocks/firefoxfire.html

I find myself wanting to put little things everywhere. This seems to be the opposite of a good strategy for being found or seen, and I like that. That's partly why I am drawn to you, lil blog, because you exist right in the command line, tucked away like a secret room.

24 december 2016

Today I learned that Lance is awesome.

22 december 2016

Today I learned how to push and pull from git with the help of my friend Kalen.

I feel powerful. I am a god.

21 december 2016

I am showing this program now to my gf and I hope she likes it.

am still testing this. I worry that everything I'm typing is turning into tilde's and gibberish. The problem of being into weird obscure tech things without being weirdly, obscurely technical

Today I learned VIM. Or rather, I figured out how to type this so that I feel less nervous that it'll all go away. And figured out how to actually leave this blog typing.

At the start of the feels it gives you your choice of text editor. My problem is that I got excited for them in the same way I do the titles on book spines or the covers of albums. But I am still illiterate and without a working record player, metaphorically speaking.

20 december 2016

Hello!

I am mostly just wanting to test this out, and see how it feels. i think it feels good!

~Zach