"From Powdered Concentrate"
If happiness, not a place after all, could be
tangible, a thing, rationed to us all, daily
would you hoard it all underneath your bed, or go
snort it like a drug?
(I'm not normally one for technical poetry, but this is in
a modern form of the Sapphic sonnet, because sometimes a
challenge is fun.)
Multiple people in my household/immediate family have some degree of, like,
spirit communication. Not really within a religious context; they just receive
messages from their dead relatives and encounter strange energies in our old
house that have been known to upend someone's plate of rice, for example, when
nobody's looking. It's just something that's accepted within my family without
any explanation that it be contained or contextualized. The closest I can get to
explaining what it's like is to recommend the movie Uncle Boonmee Who Can
Recall His Past Lives. It's something I love about my family and I'm fascinated
by and totally on board with it, but I'm exempt from it for some reason. I don't
have these experiences at all.
My mother recently spoke to a medium who put her in touch with her grandmother,
who had a lot to say about how she has missed the births of new children in our
family, and particularly how she adores my child, her indomitable self-
confidence and incredible energy, her "sass". The departed watch our children, I
guess, but it falls on us, the living, to do the daily work of raising them.
Going back to Tilde Town is always fun, sadly I don’t post much here.
I’m still working on all my personnal projects, preparing for the Young Makers Show of Monts 2019.
I’m also now studying embedded electronics engineering at l’École des Mines de Saint-Étienne. This course is an apprenticeship that I do at the company SES Nouvelle, which makes road signs (I work on dynamic ones with LEDs).
Merry Xmas Y'all!
Built a new gaming computer, and playing Fo76. Having a great time with it, but I think I'll need a headset with a mic.
Teaming up with my buddy Gabe was a real pain in the ass without being able to communicate.
That said, I'm loving the new computer build. NVMe drive, gets me booted into Windows in aroughly 4 seconds, shit yeah!
Also, this is the first Xmas without my mother-in-law in the picture. The wife's pretty upset, but we'll make it through.
Life goes on and all that.
Small updates to
tcoin now shows the last 10 messages instead of the last 10 lines of messages.
It does this by ignoring the newline that separates a transaction line from the message line. The algorithm uses newlines to track messages, but counts 0 newlines for "\n" and 1 newline for "\n\n" (where
\n means newline). This means that a message accompanying a transaction (which shows up as "\n_\n\n" will be seen by the algorithm as "_\n". This way, even transactions with messages (these span three or more lines) look like a single newline-suffixed lines to the algorithm.
tcoin now breaks down how the number of tildecoins you have was determined.
The number of tildecoin is
base_amount + transfers + tildegame_amount + dailyadventure_amount. The base amount is 1000, which is the number of tildecoins that every account begins with.
transfers is the net amount of tildecoins received. If more are received than sent, then
transfers is positive. If the opposite is true, then it is negative. When both are equal, it is zero.
tildegame_amount is the your tilde score in the !tilde game on #bots in the tilde.town irc. This game was created by ~krowbar.
dailyadventure_amount is the coins you earn in the daily adventure game. This game is can be played by running
da in the terminal. It was created by ~troido.
Those are the only two updates to
tcoin. There was also some refactoring done, but the code is still spaghetti bolognese (and not the tasty, melts-in-your-mouth kind).
I need to get this out of my brain today, so this seems like a god place to dump it.
Driving my kids to their before-school care this morning, I came across a car stopped in the road and a boy aout my son's age lying in the street. I did not see the collision, but the boy had run out and the car had struck him. I stopped to make sure people had called an ambulance and authorities and if anyone needed anything.
It appears to have been a more minor collision (thank God), and the boy was breathing and moving on his own before the ambulance arrived to take him to be checked out at the hospital. However, even not having witnessed it directly, I can't help but feel dread and anxiety in the pit of my stomach. As a parent, you think about your own kids.
Anyways, it was a scary item from my day today, and I needed to write something just to help clear my mind. Thanks for reading.
things got bad super quick & i don't know what will happen next
i quit my job
i was being micromanaged & i wasn't happy--and it all more or less came while i was
getting recognized for my work on the article for "The Believer"
the article was amazing btw
my ex's brother died in a car accident, then ~abraxas died and that was very sad.
i have now worn mourning for some thirteen days now.
i am relieved i don't have to work a desk job anymore, that i am a writer and that's
how it should be, but it has been very hard this month and things are only going to get
of course no one cares or has any money, i'm always out of money
but i am confident things will pan out well like they always have. we can only be positive.
cuddling with riley seemed to help yesterday
doing cam shows for $$$ seems to be working albeit it's a very unusual way to make money
someone sent me a $5 bag of gummi bears
it's about 1/3 gone now
On call again. This is turning into my 4AM oncall journal, which is OK, I guess, right? :)
I feel like things are going really well for me lately. Almost feel bad saying that since a lot of
what I read is about people being despreately unhappy or dealing with incredibly heavy shit. My heart
goes out to each and every one of them.
My work situation is pretty great. I'm being challenged in ways I've never encountered before, but
rather than being paralyzed by it, feeling drowned and overwhelmed in a wash of the immensity of it
all, it's like I'm surfing! I take each challenge as it comes, do exactly as much as I can do
as well as I can do it, and I'm being consistently rewarded for that!
It's crazy but it's almost like I NEEDED to struggle and fight and slog through the last 20 years of my
career with all the ups and downs and all of it in order to actually be able to handle this moment.
I find myself thinking "Why didn't I do this/feel this way 20 years ago?" but maybe my younger self
COULDN'T have done this or felt this way because I wasn't ready. Or maybe that's just an excuse?
i am back from a long absence
i've been working on tilde.team stuff, mastodon, pleroma, irc (mostly stuff with thelounge and tilde.team webchat)
good to be back :)
time is bullshit, there's never enough
tear down this wall
(no really i leave my terminal for half an hour and it's full of wall messages 🙃)
Concept: You're sitting on a beach on an unnamed Pacific island, your manservant has your phone and will let you know if something important comes up, you have the right amount of sunscreen on, you have a your drink of choice and 3 or 4 different interesting novels within reach.
Enya is playing. In the distance, a dinghy full of dogs approaches.
let's see. I finally worked out which pharmacy I'm gonna get my
hormones from now that it matters since I got kicked off my parents'
insurance. almost out of Vyvanse but I guess we'll cross that bridge
when we get to it? that's not gonna be fun.
also, school's been out for two days in a row because it randomly got so
cold that there's ice on the roads. rip. and both days they were
originally just gonna delay it but then I found out they actually
switched to full-on cancelling. so, semester's been Very Weird so far.
I made over $100 camming tonight! it's good to be back :') camming is,
out of all the jobs I've had, legitimately both the one I've enjoyed the
most and the one I've made the most money doing. I'm gonna try getting
back into it, but it's gonna have to be sporadically because my grandma
kinda hovers a little, heh.
I think I'm developing a crush on someone, FUCK
first calculus class today. I was late but only by a few minutes so I
didn't really miss anything. I really like my professor! he's a grad
student and seems super cool. after class I went to the math department
office to actually have the meeting to talk about whether I'm ready to
take calculus and the person I talked to seemed encouraged that I didn't
feel completely lost on the first day. she also liked that I'm majoring
in sociology and minoring in computer science. well, specifically, she
seemed a little confused (understandably) when she asked what I'm
majoring in and I said sociology (so why do I want to take calculus?)
but then I explained that I'm minoring in computer science and she said
that that's a good way to make myself marketable because there's not a
lot of people in sociology with a computer science/math background.
which is certainly a refreshing change from the usual "but what are you
gonna doooooooo with a sociology degree? why don't you major in comp sci
and minor in sociology?" also, apparently the guy teaching my class is
well-respected in the math department as someone who's really good at
helping people understand stuff, so that's good! today started off a
little weird (I fucked around too much instead of actually getting ready
and stuff) but I'm feeling good now :)
New Year's Resolutions
They say encryption is hard
Encryption is hard. I've started and failed before. I had to
revoke my keys so often, and just as often I've been unable to revoke
Anyway, I resolve to create and maintain the facility to send and
receive email securely, that is, to use GPG effectively, with the
public key published appropriately, with backups of the private key,
Previous attempts have shown me that I am able to maintain systems
that I use. If nobody sends me any encrypted mail and nobody receives
any from me, then I won't maintain the system... I'll forget the
passphrase, for example... Would anybody like to be my crypto buddy?
I imagine that would mean that about once a month, I'd encrypt a
message for that person and decrypt one they wrote for me. This is
akin to workout buddies who compel each other to go to the gym, I
Speaking of the gym, I also resolve to quit smoking and lose some
I'm going to catch up on technical debt regarding my various machines.
metalbaby still run
i3 when every other machine is
stumpwm now? Laziness, that's why. I resolve to clean up
I also resolve to continue my backup/archival work. That box of
harddrives isn't getting any more compatible with readily available
hardware. ...Well, it's probably more possible to bit-bang IDE (not
ATA) these days than ever before, but why bother when I can still
locate physical IDE hardware? ...or can I?
the breath of the wild dlc came out and now that's sapping up my free time too
aaa too many video games
recently i tried out mastodon, it's pretty cool but the interface kinda sucks
i never have enough to write in these posts and it makes me sad.
Well, today is a new day.
I just uploaded my new project to GitHub (http://github.com/nekmit/PyCryptoCheck).
Lol I was working on this python tracker for windows.
Everytime I wanted to use that percent symbol, it would give me errors.
But I wasn't going to declare a variable.
Where do I start ?
It has to start somewhere
...but what ?
wondering what to do about my vast array of too many sites all over the internet
and almost kinda feel sometimes like starting with nothing & rebuilding. some
things that keep me from doing that is that my :CL-HOMEPAGE package for common-
lisp is neat & fun to have on the SDF but it's not as yet equipped to handle a
blog-like interface. maybe working on a module that sorts such a thing out is
a good next project. or maybe i should put :CL-HOMEPAGE on the backburner, as
i'm quite veering away from the W3 altogether. i just started a new gopherspace
at grex/cyberspace and love the protocol and system. maybe my web front should
just mirror my new gopher. i don't know, a lot to think about.
How do you justify yourself to someone who does more than you have with less
than you have?
I'm still making things and being frustrated when it is difficult to make things.
Have to keep going. Keep making. Keep doing.
Nothing makes me happier.
^ REMEMBER THIS ^