05 february 2023

Long week. Next week should be even longer. Ah well. Hopefully I'll get enough work done over the weekend that I'll have time to study on Monday.

29 january 2023

Been getting really into the Persona 2 OSTs lately. Well, not too broadly into it but depth-wise into it, as in I have a couple songs I really enjoy but I don't know much beyond them.

28 january 2023

Can't wait for this day to be over. Two homework assignments due today, gave up on one partway; only left 3 marks out of 20 incomplete. Did that because the second assignment is weighted more, in terms of impact on my term GPA. A full 1.5 times more, at that. And I don't understand shit.

Whew, it's over.

24 january 2023

Keep putting off making some healthcare-related appointments that would improve my quality of life really quickly.

Homework due Friday. Not much progress made. Feeling really sleepy at 7 PM despite having woken up at 9 AM today. Perhaps a sign I'm just not getting enough sleep, full stop.

Worried that I've overloaded myself in terms of committments but at least I have Sundays free for now. Fridays too but I need those days for aforementioned healthcare issues. Only one occupied Saturday remaining until they're free too.

Set up auto-pay on my transit pass. No more running for a kiosk in the early morning.

Trying to get into goth music, looked up "goth music" on Invidious and started listening to a playlist with some 200 videos on it. Went for She Past Away - Gerçekten Özleyince (Kesmeşeker) because it looked Turkish. Ended up being Turkish for "When you really miss (cut sugar)" according to DeepL translator. It seems shekjer had been a Turkish loanword this whole time.

Head hurt all day. Had two mugs of tea with milk. Still need to comment on something I finished reading earlier. Need to clean up my homework writings into something I can actually hand in. Saw a BBC article that claimed English-speaking Canadians were loyal to the Queen (older article). Huh?? Who the hell in Canada cares about the royal family? Never met anyone like that.

19 january 2023

I haven't been here in a while

Currently swamped with a lot of schoolwork. Well. When am I not? Anyway, went out to a community brainstorming event kind of thing and it went really well. Met some cool people, exchanged emails with one, will probably get the others at the next meeting I can attend. It was very nice.

Currently reading ~owls' journaling article on its Neocities.

Currently procrastinating on General Relativity homework.

Thinking of adding a physics section to my website.

Listening to Persona 2 music (Vehicle handling, PSP ver.)

08 january 2023

I'm back. Forgot how much I hate it here, and hate my life. My brother decided to dump his old desk in here. It was my old desk before it was his old desk, so I guess that's why. But I did ask to swap for a reason. I guess I could make it my workbench, have somewhere to put my sewing machine and other things that would otherwise pile up on my computer desk.

While I was living with my friends, I actually had a really good time, until my flight got cancelled and I got bumped to a different flight that got delayed by 3 hours. Forgot my damn tablet in that city too, though my friend said ze'd mail it to me.

I have got to start taking better care of this room. I'm going to do that KonMari stuff again after I've gone through my maintenance flowchart.

Also crabby because I had to drop a class I was really looking forward to taking, but the textbook costs money and the class meet time got pushed to the evening. I can't do evening classes again, I refuse. My current schedule has me finish before 3 PM for everything except a night lab (it's astronomy...) and a supplementary thing that's in the evening but I have to take this course to graduate and it's only offered in the winter term. I can only hope it's optional.

I wish they'd let us see the syllabi early.

Tried showing my mother a necklace I got while on the trip, she immediately asked if it was some kind of idolatrous thing. Okay, good to know that Facebook poisoning doesn't go away. I think the only thing I can do regarding that is take control of the household. Don't know how else to phrase it. But if I take hold of cooking + cleaning now that I'm dropping my evening classes then maybe I'll hate being in this place a bit less. I'll have to do my own room first because it looks like a mess. Part of it was from me packing, true, but what the fuck has my brother been doing here? Why is there a dissassembled desk and three big books in here?

Ok, went off to reorganize my clothes drawers and get rid of some ill-fated sewing projects. Now back. Making myself a plan

Clothing: Newly reorganized. Shuffled everything in my drawers around. Top left is now all underclothes, not just things that touch bare skin but things I layer on top of those but can't wear on their own, e.g. long johns, tight tops. Top right is still socks. First big drawer is now accessories, which have been warmly welcomed from the top of the drawer. Top of the drawer is still quite cluttered. My little silver dishes are still on that thing. Second big drawer is still outdoor shirts, but not flannels. Flannels are now in the bottom drawer, which used to hold random fabrics and clothing in dire need of repair. outdoor pants are still in third/penultimate drawer.

Books: Three new ones, gifts from my uncle I think? They look very cool. My books are now straining the capacity of the meager shelf I have assigned them. I need to figure out a way to make one on my own, out of cheap or discarded materials.

Papers: Mostly pretty organized. I haven't accumulated too many.

Miscellany: Ughhhh. Things keep piling up. At this rate I'll need a second set of drawers, to be constructed same as the non-existent bookshelf. Massive, massive TODOs all over the place.

Sentimentals: Strewn around my closet floor, mostly. Some have been incorporated as accessories. Gave a critical one to my friend to keep safe, since it's a gift from the LGBTQ+ centre I volunteered with for a long time. Forgot to bring the second gift to zem as well. If either is discovered by my current household, it would lead to a conversation I'd rather not have.

26 december 2022

I have officially given up on botany! I just don't have the reason to get on my PC every day now that I'm On Break. Plus I'll be visiting some friends for about two weeks so I won't be able to get on my PC at all! The horror. I would ask to get a new key for my phone or whatever but there is something special about getting on a big computer with a clacky keyboard and big screen. Makes me feel way cooler about being online than tapping at a rectangle. I'm gonna miss my wizard tower.

To-do: Get that ISO onto a USB!! I've been working on a custom ISO for Linux Mint (is that the lingo?) that has some extra programs pre-installed. It's meant for one of the friends I'm visiting!!

11 december 2022

Lab report progress

Ran into issues in my analysis. Exported the wrong graphs. Luckily, with a brain cursed by the foulest spells of confusion, I did the whole experiment at least twice and on one of my attempts I did get the right graph. Unfortunately this means I have to do pixel analysis. Which means booting into Windows because to this day the only paint program I've learned how to use is paint.NET, and the WINE performance rating thing is not good.

On the bright side, I do have part of the analysis done now, and I finished the entire procedure section! Theory still needs work but I've already sunk more effort into this report than healthy. I have got to get back to reviewing stuff that will be on my exam. Exam starts late evening (7PM) so I'll have time to finish my review tomorrow. Did a decent amount of it on Thursday and just kinda crept sluggishly these past few days.

05 december 2022

Have to vent this shit somewhere. Presentation is tomorrow and I'm regretting my choice so hard. I chose the first experiment I did this term because I learned a cool property of electric pulses from it but then I got the actual lab report feedback (all the way at the end of term, after I had already selected my final presentation) and wow there's more mistakes in this one than in the last experiment I did. Hate that!!! And now I don't know how my lab partner calculated these velocity values so I guess I'll have to ask, and explain that I was one of only two (2) fools in this class who picked this hellish lab. At least that means my mark won't be impacted by a TA getting really impressed by someone else's success?

13 hrs later: presentation is today Don't know what it is about November through March but my thoughts pitch to suicide the moment I'm under stress. Likely to be about sunlight or not going outside but I already don't do those things in the spring and fall and I'm not as suicidal then. Summer is also fairly bad for me, too.

So far have done

Mostly done

There's no way to get a decent thing for this anymore

There's just way too much missing. Why did I pick this cursed experiment?

Well that went fucking awful. Had to skip a whole question that was based on shit I literally knew because I drew a blank and didn't include the damn graph.

02 december 2022

Over the past couple days, I wrote up a really nice medieval -looking stylesheet. I'm only going to use it on my Neocities, though, because it heavily relies on fonts to do the style work. I still need to do a lot of testing, especially on machines where I don't have cool fonts installed, so I'll be doing that first.

28 november 2022

Cooked today. Pork ribs in soy sauce + ginger + pepper + yellow onions

Lab tomorrow, doing Fourier analysis again. Should be pretty easy, I've got a decent function set up from the last lab I had to do. Next term I have a course on more advanced computational physics concepts, and I see Fourier transforms are on the description, so I'm basically gonna be set for that part. I think labs should be done before lecture courses, rather than during them. Doing a lab on cables really helped me with mutual induction, before we actually did it in class. When I was doing electrostatics I had to take the lecture concurrently with the lab, and that was not as good.

25 november 2022

Really feeling the end of term stuff. Hard to believe it's already almost over. I have a comparatively lighter course load this term, so that's not as bad as it usually is. Not that I would remember; I don't remember much of anything about school by default.

Side note: vim is great because I can delete so many lines without ever reaching for my mouse. Also I'm hungry again. Huh?? It's already been 4 hours???

18 november 2022

Haven't been getting much sleep lately.

Wrote an essay on Roger Bacon. About to hand it in; see I had written Francis Bacon instead. :/

And now, after an hour long commute, online class. Fun. Usually it's on days I do not have a commute, but it got moved because of an assignment conflict.

15 november 2022

Urghhh just got done a lab report 4 hours ago and I still feel terrible. Very irregular sleep the past few days. Still really tempted to just go to bed now, but I really don't want to wake up in the middle of the night for no reason. I guess I'll catch up on my physics lectures, then. Fallen behind again.

10 november 2022

Addendum to yesterday,

Train does not run until after my first lecture of the day starts. Not sure if worth it to go to university for the other two. They're intro-level electives because I did my course selection late. My first is one that's actually required by my degree. Thankfully there's no attendance checks at universities in my country, and honestly it blows my mind that americans have that.

09 november 2022

Redacted a lot of the stuff above this for melodrama. TL;DR: Bus route is down, bus company is dragging its feet, and I'm physically unable to go to university as a result. Unless I take the train in one direction for an hour then ride it in the opposite direction for two. Not even factoring in the time it takes to bus to the train station itself.

On top of all this. I've found myself obsessed with The Sims again. I'm not even sure if I actually like the damn game. I found that I mostly already had a plot when I sat down to play it. Why not just write it down in story form then??? Ugh.

On the bright side, I'm currently reading The Left Hand of Darkness and I really like it! I'm about to start Chapter 5. So far I'm interested in how humans got to other planets, and how/why they fell out of contact with each other. Why do the Gethenians have kemmer while the other humans don't? I also find it interesting that the rest of humanity gets called perverts, when in this world people will call you worse for a shifting/ changing gender.

Also, it's interesting that Genly defaults to gendering the Gethenians as male. I somehow get the impression it's because Genly himself is a man. Reminds me of reading something about how men would generally say "he" and women would opt for "he or she" or something to that effect, but honestly without context that observation seems wrong to me. It's still rattling around in my brain though, and it is likely to have been true in the past, or be true in social groups in which I'm not.

Oh, nice. Chapter 5 opens with "My landlady, a voluble man."

23 october 2022

Debating whether to use an existing HTML pre-processor or just forge on ahead with Python. So far, using beautifulSoup, I've managed to generate a table of contents automatically, and of course clean up my indenting. It does generate #ids for headings if they don't have their own, but it doesn't work as well for the little blog section on my index. This is all about my Neocities, by the way.

What I want out of a template:

<htime datetime="2022-10-23" />
<p>Here's a bunch of text</p>

to render as

<section id="2022-10-23">
  <h3><time datetime="2022-10-23">October 23, 2022</time></h3>
  <!-- or h4, h5, depends on the page -->
  <a href="table-of-contents">Back to top</a>
  <!-- hidden with CSS, only for keyboard navigation -->
  <p>Here's a bunch of text</p>


  <summary>Graphing code</summary>
  code goes here

to render as

  <summary>Graphing code</summary>
code goes here

Is there a semantic reason to use pre? I'm pretty sure I can just slap a class on the code element and be done with it, but if there's a semantic reason I probably shouldn't.

21 october 2022


Turning my home directory into an adventure game. Made some changes to the navigation words because they tripped me up the first time I played it.

Tips: alias look="cat .description" alias examine="cat" alias x="examine"

I think every folder and subfolder on my directory has a .description file. If anyone's reading this, please check them out!

14 october 2022

I've been thinking about making something similar to feels, but for updating my Neocities. Or perhaps just moving my Neocities here and making the feels-like thing update that, but I don't know how to get files from this tilde onto my computer and vice-versa. Advantage of Neocities is that I can just zip it up and take it.

Anyway, for mobile stuff, maybe use a mobile shell to SSH into my computer, onto an account with no root access of course. Still, concerned about attacks especially if I'm on public wifi. Not quite sure how attacks work but I will learn and for now it just smacks of a bad idea. Especially since my phone has not had a security update since 2020. Google Pixel 2 and I've had it since 2018 at most (could be 2017? I know I got it pretty close to release, like a chump).

I can't even install a new OS on it because the down volume button is broken and I need it to enter the mode where I can install things. I keep postponing installing a new OS on either of my parents' old phones (I hoard them, fuck the phone release cycle, they work fine). I think once I get something decent and updated after 2020 on them it'll be safer. Key: -er. Perhaps not safe, I don't know enough about security.

But that was a tangent. I remember talking with a meatspace (for lack of a better word) acquaintance (possibly friend?) about this concept, and they recommended some things about SSH security but since I neither understood it fully nor wrote it down, it's lost to time. This is why I should commit to bullet journaling, but I feel that system is too... cumbersome? for frequent use. I need to lower the "activation energy" of getting me to write stuff in it, and it can't just be "remember to take it along" because anything beginning with "remember" is a lost cause with me. This is also a tangent. Is it possible to have tangents in a stream of consciousness? More like a topic change, unless I pivot back.

Fruitless tangent, on SMS Pivoting back to the SSH stuff, I'm also thinking about *maybe* using SMS like early Twitter, since I do want to make tweet-like things. That, however, is very unlikely to actually happen because if I had an upper word limit on stuff like this I'd tear it apart. Another reason I can't use SMS. Another, still, is that while I don't know specifics, I'm reasonably sure it's not secure enough to allow my computer to execute actions based on an SMS. Any actions. Also, why in hell would I ever try to put any SMS on my computer?? I'd get nothing but spam.

I hope the details summary thing works on my public_html.

11 october 2022

Did today

Head hurts, now convinced it's more because of the glasses than the screen time (not that that plays a negligible role... the opposite, in fact). My prescription has not been updated since 2019, but I have to delay getting new glasses because of insurance issues. Might just bite the bullet and get glasses from a cheap online place, this thing's been dragging on long enough.

Reading list put on hold. Got the Broken Earth trilogy as a gift (physical, paperback) some time ago and still haven't read them. Looking forward to them as my next commute read (bus... don't read and drive).

09 october 2022

Experimenting with Xfce themes today.

Booted into Windows to play the Sims. So fucking slow.

08 october 2022

Some textbook site I had to use for a course-specific packet wanted me to install its shitty proprietary PDF viewer to view things offline. For a book I had already paid for. Not that they care, they see it as licensing at best. Whatever. Their PDF reader did not allow me to log in because my university wasn't on their list. Alright.

Ended up finding a Python script on GitHub that automates screenshots for this specific service. Output was a nice PDF, a little blurry, but still legible. I love the internet.

Note: my university allows me barely any access to anything. Weird. Whenever I see a cool research article online, I have to ask my friend to download it and send it to me instead. I don't know why my uni's weird like that, most other universities in my country pool stuff together in an access federation, from which my university is conspicuously absent.

Finished reading up to Chapter 10 of Vinbre: The Novel, on AO3. Fucking fantastic, so much original effort, worldbuilding, everything. Amazing.

01 october 2022


I don't have time to go back and use my awful reading list format.

Am about to finish Attack Surface by Cory Doctorow after seeing it on the BBJ here. Also reading Vinbre the Novel on AO3, that can only loosely be considered fanfiction. Gonna abandon Wizard of Earthsea, it is not my thing (the irony, but I have my reasons).

25 september 2022


Working on lab report. Not really sure how to get inductance and capacitance from the diameters of this thing (cylindric capacitor) without also knowing the permittivity and permeability of the dielectric. I guess I could do a rudimentary calculation with just constants, setting permeability to 1 and permittivity to the permittivity of free space instead of its actual material? Would that be allowed in the lab report?

The manual is pretty explicit that we use L and C to calculate other values and then compare them to the experimentally determined values. But then the last part of the analysis is to then use the experimentally determined vals to find L and C.

Alright, since I'm using feels as a way to get this off my chest without bugging my lab partner. Here we go.

Part 1 calls for calculating L and C from the diameters of the inner and outer conductors. They didn't outline a method to do this, just said it's in any E&M textbook. Fair enough, this is a third year lab, we should be expected to do our own math. So I used two different textbooks because fuck yeah, libretexts! Anyway, textbooks generally agree that you need the permeability and permittivity for those, unless you wanna go the Q/V route for capacitance. But we didn't measure the potential difference across the inner and outer conductor (not possible in our case, cable) so we can't do that.

Ending this right now to work. Fuck it why not. Worst case scenario we get marks off.

23 september 2022

Wrote a whole thing on BBJ, but then saw it was long and so I decided to cut the whole thing and paste it into a file on my home directory to later turn into a webpage or something.

I followed a tutorial on copying and pasting in nano.

I then found out that by exiting the nano in the BBJ, I have consigned my writings to the ashes.

It's getting late. I'll post a shorter reply tomorrow.

It's tomorrow. Currently using lynx browser to read a tutorial on using vim. I feel like a movie hacker.

15 september 2022


My back HURTS. OW.

I have a 2hr commute twice a week, and the bus always cranks the AC. What the hell? I have to carry gloves and a scarf onto the bus in the summer??

Reading list status

Reading list legend

For stuff that's on my shelf, I wholeheartedly welcome suggestions and notes in my email on tilde town.

For stuff that's not on this list, please email me recommendations. If my library doesn't have it, I'll email them.

I wish I could take an interlibrary loan on e-books

04 september 2022


It's still September 3rd for me, but Feels is on a different timezone.

Today I used the power of science to untarnish (partially) some silver I found. For religious reasons, two of the stubby goblet things (I don't know what they're called) were used to hold rotten, hard-boiled, dyed eggs. Granted, only one of them was cracked, and only by accident, but I still think that the Hydrogen sulfide is the reason it tarnished. The larger, serving-tray type of thing, was tarnished due to age.

The process I used, and the science behind it, is available on TeacherSource.com

Today I watched piusbird's stream, also. I only got sound working a bit before the Voyager theme was playing, and it sounded pretty cool. Proud of myself for recognizing it even though it's been a while since I last saw an episode.

03 september 2022


I picked up my new tablet. It took me around four months to decide to buy one at all, and a full month to look into the kind I would need, but I still feel a bit of buyer's remorse. I'm hoping that goes away soon, and that it's only because I'm using an Android tablet. Android, iOS, no matter what it is, it's never good out of the box. I hate using Google products.

Unfortunately it's also the only thing I can get that's affordable, and in time for the start of term. I'm facing a 2 hour commute, and hoping to use bus time as study time like I did this last term. This last term I used my phone, though, and reading textbooks on it is very uncomfortable.

A complaint: what the hell do you mean I can't have numbers in my email address? Some websites (UPS website), I swear... And invalid address? I will use my firefox relay email and you will accept it, god damn it (many such cases!).

A further complaint: everyone in my family is getting a new phone because of some promotion that makes it effectively free yadda yadda years-long contract and so on and so forth. My phone works fine for my purposes, and has since 2017 or so. Why should I replace it? But my mom is "very concerned" and confused over this. I already tape over my cameras, why would I need a phone with not one, not two, but three backwards-facing cameras?

01 september 2022


Well, I got myself some supplies for school. 2 hour commute, so I got a tablet. Fuck it! Government sent me a grant, and it's not like I'll be living on campus. Applying for my 40% bus fare reduction tomorrow, but this last term (summer) I basically murdered my eyeballs
trying to read PDFs on my tiny little phone screen.

I edited the sed expression that asm (from tilde town) sent me, just to see that I can. This is pretty damn versatile. I can see myself using it for more things. I'm gonna challenge myself to get it to swap my dates with some actual titles.

Wrist hurts again.

31 august 2022

Re: emails

It took me just about 3 (thankfully not continuous) hours to figure out how to send emails on this. Interesting. For my own reference.

In shorter terms, cat Filename | mail Somebody(OnceToldMe) -s "subject"

I should make a tutorial section for things that stump me.

30 august 2022

Good morning.

Woke up with pain in my right leg, in the hip and knee, ankle too but not as much.

Yesterday I went on the IRC and the BBJ but I didn't say anything because I feel I haven't lurked enough. I went and tested some bots on the IRC, though, that was fun. I'll try again now, it's like 10 AM here so maybe there's a conversation going on that I can at least watch if not join.

Fell asleep at 5 AM because I was reading my city's website. Thoughts on parking because that was on the discussion board:

I don't think parking should be free. Parking not only costs the city (surfacing costs, and so on), but also pedestrians. You try walking in a parking lot in August: you'll fry. Try walking past it on the sidewalk: you get cooked. Even without that heat, it's just... a LOT to walk past. No shade, no shelter from the wind, nowhere to sit. Awful experience.

RE: big buildings like WalMart, why don't they just put their damn parking on the roof? It's already flat concrete garbage. Just add a ramp. Sprawled out garbage store. Why is it all one floor? Awful. At least build stuff on top of it.

Just upset myself over finances so I erased that entire paragraph.

Reading list status: unchanged.

29 august 2022

Hello world!

This is my first time using tilde.town, and my first time using Gopher. It's pretty fun so far. I've been on the garden, watered my own plant and then owls', and that's been cool.

To do:

Finally figured out how to edit these. I'm glad. I removed the h1 that was here.

Reading list status

Reading list legend

Some books I finished recently, but before I joined tilde.town:

Wow, I wish Libby would stop telling me how many people are waiting. I'll get to it when I get to it!

If you're reading this and you're not me, feel free to email me some book recs.

Sorry, somehow my terminal froze and I had to close it and start a new one. But it still says I'm editing this. Weird. Anyway, that's it from me.